yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
