i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
