how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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