Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
