i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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