That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
