Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize