You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
