To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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