dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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