It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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