I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
