So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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