as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
