I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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