yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
