there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
