The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
