I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
