just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
