Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
