Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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