she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
