I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your cock deserves a montage
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
