he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
