Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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