I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I deserve this hangover.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
