East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
