So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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