scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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