Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
