sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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