And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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