He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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