I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
