So drunk its hurt
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
