It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize