Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
