u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
