bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
