It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
