I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You ruined the universe
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
