Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Randomize
