i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
