doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize