I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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