i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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