so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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