He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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