I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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