now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
