we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
