but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
