His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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