I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
