he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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