I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
3 2 1 whiskey
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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