at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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